Some Things Are Better Left Unheard
by LadyLefaye
Summary: A rewrite of the scene from episode 63 of the anime where Ichigo visits Byakuya's hospital room. ByakuyaIchigoRenji triangle with hints of ByakukayRenji


**A/N: **This fic was written for a request at the Fic on Demand LJ community for a story where Byakuya and Renji fight over Ichigo.

* * *

Ichigo crouched on an awning several feet below Byakuya's hospital room. He'd been about to hop in and ask whether Byakuya knew where his sister was when he heard the Captain arguing with his Lieutenant, Renji. Normally, he would have barged right in and interrupted…he had to be getting back to Earth soon, after all…but he kept hearing his name pop up. They seemed to be arguing about him. He just couldn't resist eavesdropping for a little bit.

"Obviously I stand a better chance of defeating Ichigo in a rematch," Ichigo heard Byakuya say. "You could not even defeat me, and I nearly lost my life in my battle with him."

"But look who's still bedridden. I wasn't nearly so bad off after my fight with Ichigo," Renji replied cockily.

"At that point, Ichigo had not yet learned how to release his bankai. The level of the two fights is not comparable. The raw power of his bankai is impressive. He was able to defeat my bankai even though I have a much larger amount of experience in using it."

"Maybe that's because your bankai is too girly," Renji joked. "Any attack that mimics flower petals just _has_ to have something wrong with it. My bankai is much manlier, and once I get more experience with it, I'll be unstoppable."

"Your bankai is gargantuan and cumbersome," Byakuya replied calmly. "It suits your personality very well."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Renji exclaimed, glowering at his Captain.

Icihigo had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from snickering. They were arguing like a couple of macho school boys. He had almost expected Renji to say 'well, my bankai is bigger than your bankai.' They continued back and forth for a little while longer, but then Ichigo heard something that stopped his laughs right in his throat and caused him to blush furiously.

"Given that we are both apparently unworthy opponents when compared with Ichigo's strength," he heard Byakuya say, "I'm not sure comparing our battle prowess is the best way to determine who has a better chance with Ichigo."

That's right…Byakuya had just asked who had a better chance with Ichigo.

Not against him. _ With_ him.

Now how in the world had he gotten the idea that Ichigo liked men…you know…in _that_ way?

Thankfully, Renji seemed to share some of Ichigo's reservations. "You know, as fun as it is to speculate on all this, have you ever stopped to consider that maybe Ichigo is only attracted to women? I mean, here in Soul Society, it's all well and good to pick a mate based purely on compatibility. Gender isn't so much of an issue when you can't conceive children. But the living seem very focused on the whole act of procreating. Chances are, Ichigo wants to find a nice girl to settle down with…it's practically hard-wired into humans to find a mate of the opposite gender."

"I have reason to believe that Ichigo may be what the humans call 'homosexual'. I have heard rumors that he becomes terrified every time he sees his mentor Yoruichi without her clothing on, and on several occasions I have overheard Rukia complaining about how Ichigo brushes off all her attempts at flirting. He is often surrounded by beautiful women, but he seems to show no sexual interest in them whatsoever, which is very strange for a boy his age. I have to conclude that he is interested in men instead, but because of the pressures of his society, he feels uncomfortable expressing his desires openly."

"What do you know…maybe the two of us stand a chance after all," Renji replied.

So much for Renji being the voice of reason.

"Of course, if we are just going by personality, I definitely have a better chance," Renji continued.

"Oh?" Byakuya replied with an arch of his eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. You're so uptight that plowing into you would be like trying to shove a dick through a keyhole. It would be so painful you might just turn him off sex all together."

"And what makes you think I would be on the…receiving end…of his attentions?" Byakuya asked coolly.

"Well, as much as you hate to admit it, he's stronger than you. It's his right to call top. Now, if there is any correlation between power level and the size of his cock, he can ride me like a pony for all I care. It's been ages since I've had someone as…fulfilling…as I'd like."

"I'm sure somebody as weak as you has had much experience being the…lower…person in a relationship. There's such a thing as being too loose, you know."

"You're just bitter that I never let you find out firsthand," Renji replied with a knowing grin.

"As you stated earlier, it is the right of the stronger partner to be on top. You didn't honestly believe a relationship could have worked between us when you adamantly refused to accept my superiority, now did you?"

"Don't you understand?" Renji asked bitterly. "I can't fight to be stronger if I just lay there and accept that you're better. I have to believe that I'm your equal…that the only thing that separates us is experience. I _have_ to believe this. Otherwise, why even bother training to reach your level?"

"If you cannot see that until you have trained enough to surpass me that I _am_ your superior, then perhaps it is best that we are pursuing Ichigo rather than one another," Byakuya replied.

"Just because you acknowledge that another is stronger than you does not mean that you can no longer strive to improve," Byakuya added softly.

Renji averted his eyes and looked towards the floor as an awkward silence filled the hospital room. Ichigo decided that now was the perfect time to interrupt. The silence had stretched long enough that he could hopefully enter without it seeming like he'd overheard anything he shouldn't have.

His decision made, he jumped up from the landing onto the windowsill next to Byakuya's bed. "Hey, guys!" he said in an overly cheerful voice. "I'm trying to find Rukia. Have you seen her?"

Renji's eyes widened like a deer in headlights and his entire faced turned crimson red, obviously fearing that Ichigo had indeed overhead something. Byakuya, on the other hand, remained calm as always.

"I have not seen my sister yet today," Byakuya replied.

"Um…me neither," Renji said awkwardly, still refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"Ah, well thanks anyway," Ichigo said. "Oh, and I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Byakuya…I tried not to hurt you too badly," Ichigo added with a grin, waving as he jumped back down to the awning a few feet below the window. He was about to make the second jump to the ground below when he heard Byakuya speak again.

"It seems as though Ichigo was worried about me," Byakuya said in a light, almost teasing tone. "Perhaps that means he likes me best."

Renji's sullenness suddenly vanished as the two began a fresh bout of arguing. But Ichigo felt he had invaded their privacy enough. There were just some things you weren't meant to hear. Without a second thought, he jumped down and began racing away from the building in search of Rukia.

But, knowing what he did now, he was suddenly very glad that his time in Soul Society was almost up.


End file.
